How Honest are We as Parents?

How Honest Are We as Parents?

Parenting is tough. The more I dig into my kids’ school experiences or listen to their stories, the more I realize that many of us as parents are navigating this journey from a place of fear. I often wonder—are we parenting out of fear, shame, or perhaps a combination of both? The pressure to be the “perfect parent” continues to build, and it feels like we’re constantly searching for the next right answer or strategy. But here’s the hard truth: nothing about parenting is easy.

In my own journey, I’ve found myself battling with when to speak up for the greater good and when to accept that I can only control what I can control. There’s so much pressure to do everything perfectly, and so many hot topics surrounding parenting today. Should we ban screens altogether? Should kids be allowed iPads? When is it the right time to give them a phone? Research continues to support the argument that these things—screens, social media, and video games—are creating a generation of anxious young people.

So, where do we stand as parents?

Many of us find ourselves at a crossroads, unsure of the best path to take. It’s easy to fall into the trap of simply banning things or imposing rules without considering the bigger picture. But the real question is: Is it about banning certain things, or is it about acknowledging when our kids are truly ready for these things and then setting boundaries around them?

I’ve come to realize that parenting from a place of fear or shame means we haven’t done our own internal work. The shame or guilt of what others think of us as parents is our problem, not our child’s. If we allow shame to dictate our decisions, we’re setting ourselves up for constant disappointment. The pressure to be “perfect” can cloud our judgment and make us lose sight of the fact that we’re all just doing the best we can.

It’s okay to take a step back and reflect on where we’re coming from. Are we parenting from fear or shame, or simply from a place of not knowing what to do next? These are all valid feelings, but they require self-awareness and a willingness to do the internal work needed to understand our motivations. This is the first step in breaking generational challenges—not just addictions or patterns of behavior, but in breaking free from the cycles of fear, shame, and uncertainty that often dictate our actions.

Breaking generational curses isn’t just about stopping unhealthy habits; it’s about becoming so self-aware that we’re comfortable confronting the hard things. It’s about getting down in the dirt with our kids and meeting them where they are, rather than turning a blind eye and hoping it all works itself out. Parenting isn’t about avoiding the hard conversations; it’s about having them with honesty, vulnerability, and courage.

At the end of the day, parenting is about connection—connection with our children, yes, but also connection with ourselves. When we truly understand our own motivations and break free from fear and shame, we create a healthier, more supportive environment for our kids to grow and thrive.

Remember, it's okay to not have all the answers. What matters is that we’re willing to show up, do the work, and make choices that are aligned with our values and beliefs. Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress, understanding, and deep connection.

So, how honest are we as parents? The answer is simple: the more honest we are with ourselves, the better equipped we are to be the parents our children need.

Are you ready to do the internal work and break free from the fear and shame that might be holding you back from becoming the parent you want to be? Let’s take that first step together.

If you’re looking for more support on your parenting journey or want to explore how life coaching can help you build a deeper connection with your children, I’m here to help. Let’s chat!