The Importance of Sportsmanship in Youth Sports: It's Not Just About the Win

Losing isn’t fun for anyone. It’s a tough life lesson, but one that we all must experience. Youth sports, in particular, serve as a stepping stone into the world of "you win some, you lose some." It teaches us that life isn’t always fair, and sometimes things just don’t go our way. As a parent standing on the sidelines, it’s hard not to feel the urge to argue a call or watch the fight drain from your child’s face when things aren’t going as planned.

I’ll admit it—I’m a loud parent. I love to cheer for my kids and their team, and I make sure they know someone is there rooting for them. After all, who doesn’t want to be seen when they play? The energy on the field or court is contagious, and when the crowd supports you, it lifts your spirits and pushes you to do your best.

But recently, I’ve started to feel like youth sports have taken a turn for the worse. The pressure to win has become so heavy that it seems to overshadow the true spirit of the game. I wonder if this pressure is contributing to some of the poor sportsmanship I see on the court.

Let me be clear—I love the game. Any sport, really. I love the competition, the teamwork, and the lessons that come from playing. But if my child is the one acting out of line, please bench them. Talk to them. Help them understand the adrenaline rush, explain what’s acceptable and what’s not, and remind them that good sportsmanship is part of the game.

It’s essential to teach kids to help the opposing player up when they’re down, to acknowledge their opponent with a handshake after the game, and to show respect, even in the face of defeat. Encourage them to see the game in the other players, to appreciate their effort, and to use that as a source of inspiration. Let’s not allow a bad attitude to steal the joy from the game.

And let's not forget the importance of leading by example. Do not let our kids see that bad sportsmanship, like not shaking hands or talking negatively about the other team, is ever acceptable. Teach them to follow the rules, to play hard, and to leave everything they’ve got on the field—but also to respect the game and the people they’re playing with.

To make it perfectly clear: it’s not just about the win; it’s how you win. This responsibility falls not only on the players but on the coaches and the parents as well. The hormones are real, the adrenaline turns into anger, and the fight to win is undeniable—but that’s where guidance comes in. We, as parents and coaches, need to help them navigate those emotions. Cheer for them, hold them accountable, and teach them to play with integrity.

At the end of the day, we don’t learn when we don’t know. So let’s be the ones who guide them, teach them, and inspire them to not just be good players—but to be good people both on and off the field.